I usually don’t buy “trust” as a need. One clue is that I usually hear “trust” followed by “that”, which certainly gets into strategy-land. For instance, “I want/need to trust that you’ll hear and value my needs.” Trust doesn’t fit for me for several reasons.
- My trusting is entirely up to me.
- “Trusting that” may be a poor choice, i.e., out of sync with reality.
- I hear “trust that” as NVC-speak (not NVC-heart) for an attempt to get a static guarantee (nail down the future) and thus go against living, spontaneous Choice.
- I suspect that every question of “trust-that” can be laid to rest with a single generic answer:
You can trust that I will XYZ, exactly when doing so is the best way I see to get my needs met at the time.
- A living alternative to “I want to trust-that you will XYZ” could be “I want to collaborate in exploring how you choosing to XYZ will meet your needs.”
Afterthought on February 26: I’m guessing that “I want to trust that you will XYZ” generally means “I want you to XYZ”, where XYZ is a “wish” rather than a request. See Promises, predictions, and wishes.