What is NVC for? Although I’ve studied, practiced, and taught NVC for years, lately I’ve been revisiting a basic question: What is NVC for? One possible answer is that NVC is for more effectively inspiring people to do what we want them to. Before you object (and I hope you do), please note that I [...]
Although I see some value in communication techniques such as NVC’s four steps, I also have serious concerns about hazards of teaching and studying such techniques, including the loss of accurate feedback crucial to achieving the transformation that NVC was intended to support. In this blog post, I’ll try to shine light on these hazards [...]
“The greatest obstacle to discovering the shape of the earth, the continents, and the oceans was not ignorance but the illusion of knowledge.” – Daniel J. Boorstin Guessing others’ feelings and needs In NVC, people are taught to make guesses about the feelings and needs of others. They’re encouraged not to believe these guesses to [...]
I wrote about “vague demands” in an earlier post. A vague demand is an expression couched in NVC need-style language that masks moralism and demand. (For example, “that doesn’t meet my need for fairness”, or “accountability” or “respect”.) Most of what I hear from NVC practitioners (including teachers) when dealing with or coaching someone triggered [...]
In my understanding, NVC Consciousness looks at the universe as abundant. Needs may be met in an infinite number of ways, and NVC theory sees needs as never being in conflict. What interferes with our experience of abundance is attachment to strategies. The only reason I know for attaching to a strategy is that one [...]
I’m reading Alan Watts’s book “The Wisdom of Insecurity” (1951). The following passage touches the heart of what I wanted to get at in my post “Trust that …” We must here make a clear distinction belief and faith, because, in general practice, belief has come to mean a state of mind which is almost [...]
I often hear from NVC folks (including externally certified trainers) phrases of the form “That doesn’t meet my need for XYZ”, where XYZ might be “respect”, (emotional) “safety”, “honesty”, “integrity”, “mutuality”, “autonomy”, “appreciation”, “consideration”, “accountability”, “trust”, “being valued”, etc. Occasionally the needs might even be “learning”, “connection”, “order”. Most of the time, especially with the [...]
Some reflections on why I care whether psncc/nwcompass (and cnvc) adopt a more expansive and inclusive orientation and let go of “quality-control” measures like certification. I want to support the living & sharing of NVC Consciousness much more than any particular form/process. The “sacred place” rather than the “raft”. (That’s what I teach & coach, [...]
Here is our NVC group’s vision and mission statement: Northwest Compassionate Communication is a regional non-profit association of people who envision a world in which all needs are met compassionately. Our mission is to contribute to this vision by living and teaching the process of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), which strengthens the ability of people to [...]